Friday, December 22, 2006

The Mysteries of Bliss XII: Pisces Rising


"The supreme moment of the initiation ceremony was not concerned with the ritual, as Mylonas rightly insists, but with the Deiknumena--the Things shown. Suddenly the doors of the Anaktoron swung open to a blaze of light, streaming presumably from the torch of the Dadouchos, as the Hierophant revealed the Heira. Alongside him stood the goddess’ holy priestess and the two heirophantides, female ‘expounders of the mysteries,’ representing Demeter and her daughter. The effect must have been awe-inspiring as the moment when the Orthodox bishop proclaims the Resurrection of the Christ.

"The nature of the Orgia is much disputed, and will almost certainly be never revealed. Possibly they were Myceneaan cult objects, as Mylonas suggests, whose provenance and purpose had been long forgotten. Possibly again the parable of the cycle of vegetation played its part, though we can hardly accept Hippolytus’ contemptuous statement that the Epoptae or Adepts, who were admitted to the higher mysteries, were merely shown a ripe ear of wheat. According to the same authority, the ritual also included a holy birth. ‘In the course of the night,’ he says, ‘the hierophant at Eleusis in the midst of a brilliant fire celebrating the Great and Unspoken Mysteries cries and shouts aloud saying ‘Holy Brimo has borne a sacred child Brimos, that is the Mighty has given birth to the Mighty One.’'

- John Pollard, “The Eleusinian Mysteries,” in Seers, Shrines and Sirens: The Greek Religious Revolution in the Sixth Century BC



"To enter the figure of Demeter means to be pursued, to be robbed, raped, to fail to understand, to rage and grieve, but then to get everything back and be born again. And what does all of this mean, save to realize the universal principle of life, the fate of everything mortal? What, then, is left over for the figure of Persephone? Beyond question, that which constitutes the structure of the living creature apart from this endlessly-repeated drama of coming-to-be and passing-away, namely the uniqueness of the individual and its enthrallment to non-being. Uniqueness and non-being understood not philosophically but envisaged corporeally in figures, or rather as these are envisaged in the formless, unsubstantial realm of Hades. There Persephone reigns, the eternally unique one who is no more. ... Had that uniqueness not been, had nothing ever stirred and started up in non-being, then the realm of Hades would not exist, in relation to pure nothing it would not be at all, not even an aspect of the past.

-- Carl Kerenyi, “Kore”

That door which once entered Eleusis
is the frame through which I
beheld her for one flickering moment.
She stood there smiling in
my heart’s outflooding stream,
smiling with eyes that said Yes.
I reached for her; she faded
with a kiss; I woke to the
third birth which fraught
the first two, ferrying me beyond
my mother’s womb and on
beyond the Christ’s shipwrecked
tomb into ardor and futility of
the deepest sea whose shores
I now attend in wavelike lines
across and down the page.
Ten thousand nights I hurried
out that door with heart on fire
for that arrow which flew
from hidden surfeit billows,
pouring all that booze onto
what proved a pyre of lonely
choiring bones. There was no
woman to find in the way
I needed her most: She was gone,
hitched to the Lord of Underworlds,
sped or fled away on cruel wheels.
Her absence became the crown
which my nights wore as I
raged and galloped and cursed
indifferent shores. That door’s
interior reaches like a universe
of frozen, too-distant stars
which burn on in eternal remembrance
of that night in which I came to
be a man, awakened and then
shattered in a hurled epiphany,
baptized by that she-shaped wave
so blue and wild and ecstatic
that I was jolted free, if only
for one night, into some quasi-
immortal scree of one,
planted and reborn in Thee.
Too bad I was then left to figure out
what to make of that awesome
awful door which framed the
nothing which she faded with
a smile through, a door which
then swung shut and locked
me in empty self’s tomblike
chill, bereft of all wild seas.
Without Eleusis I had
to myth that door in darkness,
with all the madness and error
of the fool who knows but can’t
quite say it and acts out the
drama in reverse, with ass-ears
on, upside down, backwassward,
wrong-headed, puerile,
vicious, out of control, abused,
with all the malice and criminal
intent of the son mothered
by heartbreak. A sad way to
go -- you can waste your life stuck
down there, bewildering through
the old labyrinth, making wrong turn
over and over into more wrongful
depths, holding high the fool candle
which blunders on convinced
you’ll get lucky some night
and find the strip-club-
caliber muse who’ll turn
all things aright
with one sassy sashay
of her upturned ass.
I’m still on that fool’s
errand, just on a different stage,
penis exchanged for pen,
salty nights for bottomless page.
Here it is at solstice and
I say this song’s at end, ready
to be put to bed in the
manger which concludes the tale,
the king’s youngest son reborn
in a rude hut out beneath the
stars, long after I gave up
on finding his immortal mother
in the bars, lost all flicker of
her here down the wearyings
age & so much ink spilled
in bootless rage. It simply ends,
and then he cries
tender, small and frail,
the candled renewed, leaping
across the word from where
she disappeared to where
he now begins: Thus one year
ends in the welcome of the next.
Dark and still outside, absent
and dreamy in the night’s far
wash -- at high tide here of
all that’s lost, is dead, moved on,
can never be found again --
Christmas lights burning white
across the street, a soft far slur
of traffic on 441 -- nothing here
suggests new life, but that’s
why we have mysteries, doors
turning near and wide, bliss
heightened to infinity
exactly where it dies.
My wife’s awake now & in
the shower upstairs, water
which echoes the sound
of my soul’s imago padding
softly in the garden outside,
blue slippers on her feet
still dewed with our embrace,
her blue gown like water
over her lush curves, her
blue eyes of a moon which
is nowhere this morning
to be found. But wait: You know
it will return, like the upside
wash of love, redeeming all this
drought and dearth with an infant’s
mewling cry, nursed by
his mother’s evanescently
fulfilling sigh,
tracked by an infinitesimal I
rowing on alone in
this verse coracle
praising far Demeter’s skies.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Mysteries of Bliss VIII: Imago


Whose image so filled the night
which opened through that door
with the quintessence of blue phosphor,
a wild lucency that lit my way
between mother Leto rising
from the sea and that shore-bitch
Hekat, yowling for blood seed?
My fragrant hope of finding love
placed her in a blue klieg light
only I could see, washing over
her hair and face and turning
her curves to water as she
drank demurely in some
preterit bar, waiting, I
was sure, for something she
would not know until she
saw me smile. But that was just
the motive fiction which
sprung me from my damaged lair,
hurrying out onto the bruised
avenues of night to blow it all
again with the rest of my
pickled ilk, down the vast
brine barrel of desire’s
lonely, self-evicting swash.
Truth is, the scene I so desperately
sought each night like a grail
was not called by any door
outside my own but
rather hollered out from within,
by mysteries I couldn’t
name and thus were prey to,
ens and djinns and kelpies,
diabolic banshees of the moon
lavish in silkily curved descents,
bursting, I was sure, with fresh-
milked news of the man I could
not be since I was holding on
to his boy so stubbornly.
Lustral, mistral, widwife, muse:
all were frescoes in the
grand chapel where I sought
my wife for life, at least for
one night. All these distaffs
washed across a face slowly
bulbed on inside my mind
as I dully practiced my guitar,
growing more lucent and surgent
with each can of beer I drained,
amping me with lunar ardor.
I was convinced that somewhere
out there, on some random night,
I’d find the one who could open
with a kiss that locked-
down, bruited arbor, and make all
days green and wild again. It was
my hope of finding my way back to
Eden on a bed delved from its
lost depths that shaped and
fraught that night-turning door
with such hymeneal craft and sass
that in just Heading Out
I was already entering her,
naked of all broken means. Surely
she would see it in my eyes
when I walked up and said hello,
offering to buy her a drink: surrender
to the ocean which composed
her curves in waves I was ready
to be baptized in, her son and
lover both, votive, feral, truest
where i could only stand there
staring wide and open in her eyes,
like a book fished from the depths
which told her tale complete ---
Foolish stuff, what does any of
this have to do with who that
woman was, what did I care of
the big question which had hauled
her out to that bar that very night?
Foolish too to ply even imagined
hope in the worst strata of all,
that zeroed night of drunks on
fire. Yes and Yes, it was such
stupid stuff: I’m just trying to
write here of the nature of
that light which flickered in
my mind to lamp a woman
far out in blicker’s night:
Frail and wrong-headed though
it was, that image was the
first flicker of a candle
which burns so brightly here,
solstitial against all dark.
Heavy fog and drippy rain
outside this morning, Gulf-
saturate, not chill, just boggy,
shrouded, so dense that sounds
are cloistered, muted, close.
My wife stayed over at her
sister’s last night, weary from
fruitless Christmas shopping
and heavy traffic, not wanting
to make the long drive home
in such dreary dark rain.
Yet her presence is in every
room outside and in, a meld of
the real and imagined woman,
the hopeful and the hopeless
one, the passionate yet cold
one who wishes I were more
of her kind of man as much
as I wish she were more of
the woman who ghosts the
door I passed on through
til I got here at last, with
the woman whose stars got
strayed in mine. Got up at
3:15 to read and write and
will head back to bed soon,
perchance to float off to
that Avalon I never could
remain on more than a night
yet call my home, like the
moon which marrows in
my bones. I still believe
in that fruitful shore which
crashes love’s blue bliss
and draws forever back, leaving me
anointed and in love with its evanescence,
the lucence of a life-long-faded kiss.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The Mysteries of Bliss XI: Pig Rot


"The link between sowing the grain and vanishing in the underworld is confirmed by a further correspondence of myth and cult. The Orphic variants of the mythologem relegated the events in the Homeric hymn to a very primitive setting. A swineherd comes in, with the name of Eubuleus (a name also of Hades); he is the witness of the rape, because his pigs were swallowed up by the earth along with Persephone. This story is borne out -- as the sources themselves show -- by the fact that young pigs were cast into pits in honour of the two goddesses. We learn this in connection with the Tesmophoria; but it would be clear enough in any case that an analogy existed between the cavalier treatment of pigs and the sowing of the grain.

The pig is Demeter’s sacrificial animal. In one connection, where it is dedicated to the Eleusinian mysteries, it is called ... the “uterine animal” of the earth, just as the dolphin was the “uterine animal” of the sea. It was customary for Demeter to receive a gravid sow as a sacrifcial offering. The mother animal is a fit offering to the Mother Goddess, the pig in the pit a fit offering to her vanished daughter. As symbols of the goddesses, pig and grain were perfect parallels. Even the decomposed bodies of the pigs were drawn into the cult: the noisome remains were fetched up again, put on the altar, and used to make the sowing more fruitful. If , then, the pig-and-grain parallel lays stress on corruption, it will no doubt remind us that the grain decays under the earth and thus, in the state of fruitful death, hints at the Kore dwelling in the realm of the dead.

So the Demeter idea is not lacking in the element of corruption coupled with the Kore’s subterranean abode. Seen in terms of the Persephone myth, the fruitful death of the grain, religiously emphasized by the particluars of the pig-sacrifice, acquires a symbolic value, just as it is used as a parable for another idea: ‘Verily I say unto you, except a corn of wheat fall into the ground an die, it abideth alone; but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.’ {John 12:24} The corn and the pig buried in earth and left to decay point to a mythological happening and, interpreted accordingly, become transparently clear and hallowed.

-- Carl Kerenyi, “Kore”




I drank like a pig, snout in the bum
of the night’s malt excretes,
jolly, devout, routing in the
roots of my rot in a merry
blotto sot, blithe to the damage
I wreaked with every shot poured
from lips out through my hips.
I lived a third of my life,
straining to hurl every
drop of blue swirl from gullet to
hips into the marl of that votive
darkeyed girl who daughtered
my great ancient mother’s
dark uteral thrall. In AA they say
your story is your sobriety,
and I’m happy to report that
I’ve come back from the abyss
twice (by the grace of my God),
the prodigal pig full harrowed in
his filth, foresworn of swinish thirst,
at work now the other way, trying
to pour back into the world the
divinest blue I can name from
well-depths I now tend by not
falling into them one day at a time.
Now I read in the old ritual how
pigs were thrown into the hole
Kore was raped through
and left there to rot, only to
be interred at a further station
of the ritual and set on an
altar, in full flower of reek,
as evidence of how the lost
soul returns through the gates
of its death into spring’s flower,
hallowing those harrows with
a new crop of grain. So I dig
in my dirt and find that bum self
like a lord of swine night,
knocking back shots of schnapps
in moonlight as cold as his
heart, then gripping the asscheeks
of Ms. Wrong and snouting
her asshole in a delirium of
delight so wrong every split hoof
in hell starts high-fiving and
spitting into that rout
of the world, the king of hell
himself in my hips
swiving the dew billows of
Kore in his carriage
thundering under the world.
Licking that rear portal
through which all corruption
passes, fucking there too,
jamming every wrong-headedness
into the darkness of
hell’s coffined womb,
no matter how hard it hurts
the orizons of love. Awful.
And how hard he comes
there at the cape of worst
nights, in a bellowing shriek
of black-lit hurled seed,
blanketing dark regions
with the depths of his
need, ebbing to a grunt
wheeze and sigh & passing
out there, cock still in
the cornhole where death
siloes its vast winter’s store.
As long as I stayed there
the tale had to stay dark,
invisible, perforce blotted out
with the next night’s oblivion,
drifting down the dark tide.
But I surrendered at last,
sacrificing that pig, letting
deeper powers lift me
out of that corrupt mess,
wakening the man from the boy,
budding the sower, the
husbandman, the reaper
and greenman
whose wife is the life
of the womb no booze
can reach. That man in his
cups down in the dirt of my
past is sacred to her, the
essential lost third of the
mystery meant to stay dark,
the corrupt, broken visage
of guilt which dies to give
life to the tribe. It keeps me
humble, knowing how far one
can fall, wanting the worst
of it all, very dip dram and
clench in the foresakens of hell.
It makes one desire to make
of that tomb a womb of great
usefulness to the next
wearing traveller who
beaches the mess in surrender.
In AA we laugh at the horrors
of our tale because they
belong now to our past,
part of that rude bucolic,
that comedy of errors down the
bottom of a glass which led to
the door which opened
strangely to the beginning
of a real, serene, purposeful
yet humble adult life.
And to think - all we had to do was
die enough down there.
So too this writing, interring
the walls of that tale lost long
ago when Eleusis fell into ruin.
Gone but not forgotten, not
in the soul’s code which still
semaphores like a buoy in
the inarticulate swamps
of our civilized night. I read
of the mysteries and write
my own down alongside them,
seeking to spark a leap
which jumps both ways at once,
igniting in history and mystery
a walk through the dark
giving birth to the mark I
was born with -- a heart
fixed by the arrow it aches
for, the sear of the Yes which soars
where it scores, rooting me
here on this grave-marking
chair. I’m riding the end
of this poem like a dolphin
in the dirt of its sea,
carousing the panties
left in Hades' aged coach --
how lacy and supple
they lay on my face,
their criminal center
still fragrant against my nose,
perfumed with springtime
and oceanic desire
and riot of all that
it ruined -- its something
this snout offers back
today as a penultimate
if not quintessential
of bliss: The riotous
cry of the rebottled booze,
that sourmash trout
I ride in hell’s rout
singing the praises
of rot’s sweet devout,
that in such low offalish
orizons, such whale-shit
chansonings, I salt new
horizons in all that
I tossed there
awakening here.


THIS COMPOST

Walt Whitman

1.

Something startles me where I thought I was safest,
I withdraw from the still woods I loved,
I will not go now on the pastures to walk,
I will not strip the clothes from my body to meet my lover the sea,
I will not touch my flesh to the earth as to other flesh to renew me.

O how can it be that the ground itself does not sicken?
How can you be alive you growths of spring?
How can you furnish health you blood of herbs, roots, orchards, grain?
Are they not continually putting distemper'd corpses within you?
Is not every continent work'd over and over with sour dead?

Where have you disposed of their carcasses?
Those drunkards and gluttons of so many generations?
Where have you drawn off all the foul liquid and meat?
I do not see any of it upon you to-day, or perhaps I am deceived,
I will run a furrow with my plough, I will press my spade through the sod and
turn it up underneath,
I am sure I shall expose some of the foul meat.

2.

Behold this compost! behold it well!
Perhaps every mite has once form'd part of a sick person—yet behold!
The grass of spring covers the prairies,
The bean bursts noiselessly through the mould in the garden,
The delicate spear of the onion pierces upward,
The apple-buds cluster together on the apple-branches,
The resurrection of the wheat appears with pale visage out of its graves,
The tinge awakes over the willow-tree and the mulberry-tree,
The he-birds carol mornings and evenings while the she-birds sit on their nests,
The young of poultry break through the hatch'd eggs,
The new-born of animals appear, the calf is dropt from the cow,
the colt from the mare,
Out of its little hill faithfully rise the potato's dark green leaves,
Out of its hill rises the yellow maize-stalk, the lilacs bloom in the dooryards,
The summer growth is innocent and disdainful above all those strata
of sour dead.

What chemistry!
That the winds are really not infectious,
That this is no cheat, this transparent green-wash of the sea
which is so amorous after me,
That it is safe to allow it to lick my naked body all over with its tongues,
That it will not endanger me with the fevers that have deposited themselves
in it,
That all is clean forever and forever,
That the cool drink from the well tastes so good,
That blackberries are so flavorous and juicy,
That the fruits of the apple-orchard and the orange-orchard,
that melons, grapes, peaches, plums, will none of them poison me,
That when I recline on the grass I do not catch any disease,
Though probably every spear of grass rises
out of what was once a catching disease.

Now I am terrified at the Earth, it is that calm and patient,
It grows such sweet things out of such corruptions,
It turns harmless and stainless on its axis, with such endless successions
of diseas’d corpses,
It distills such exquisite winds out of such infused fetor,
It renews with such unwitting looks its prodigal, annual sumptuous crops,
It gives such divine materials to men, and accepts such leavings
from them at last.


***

from GARBAGE”

A.R. Ammons

garbage has to be the poem of our time because
—- garbage is spiritual, believable enough

to get our attention, getting in the way, piling up, stinking, turning brooks brownish and

creamy white: what else deflects us from the
errors of our illusionary ways, not a temptation

to trashlessness, that is too Or off, and,
anyway, unimaginable, unrealistic: I’m a

hole puncher or hole plugger: stick a finger
in the dame (&m, damn, dike), hold back the issue

of creativity’s flood, the forthcoming, futuristic,
the origins feeding trash: down by I-95 in

Florida where flatland’s ocean- and gulf-flat,
mounds of disposal rise (for if you dug

something up to make room for something to put
in, what about the something dug up, as with graves:)

the garbage trucks crawl as if in obeisance,
as if up ziggurats toward the high places gulls

and garbage keep alive, offerings to the gods
of garbage, of retribution, of realistic

expectation, the deities of unpleasant necessities:
refined, young earthworms,

drowned up in macadam pools by spring rains,
moisten out white in a day or so and, round spots,

look like sputum or creamv-rich, broken-up cold
clams: if this is not the best poem of the

century, can it be about the worst poem of the
centurv: it comes, at least, toward the end,

so a long tracing of bad stuff can swell
under its measure: but there on the heights

a small smoke wafts the sacrificial bounty
day and night to layer the sky brown, shut us

in as into a lidded kettle, the everlasting
flame these acres-deep of tendance keep: a

tree offering of a crippled plastic chair:
a played-out sports outfit: a hill-myna

print stained with jelly: how to write this
poem, should it be short, a small popping of

duplexes, or long, hunting wide, coming home
late, losing the trail and recovering it:

should it act itself out, illustrations,
examples, colors, clothes or intensify

reductively into statement, bones any corpus
would do to surround, or should it be nothing

at all unless it finds itself: the poem,
which is about the pre-socratic idea of the

dispositional axis from stone to wind, wind
to stone (with my elaborations, if any)

is complete before it begins, so I needn’t
myself hurry into brevity, though a weary reader

might briefly be done: the axis will be clear
enough daubed here and there with a little ink

or fined out into every shade and form of its
L,./ revelation: this is a scientific poem,

Asserting that nature models values, that we
have invented little (copied), reflections of

possibilities already here, this where we came
to and how we came: a priestly director behind the

black-chufffing dozer leans the gleanings and
reads the birds, millions of loners circling

a common height, alighting to the meaty streaks
and puffy muffins (pufffins?): there is a mound,

too, in the poet’s mind dead language is hauled
off to and burned down on, the energy held and

shaped into new turns and clusters, the mind
strengthened by what it strengthens: for

where but in the very asshole of comedown is redemption:
as where but brought low, where

but in the grief of failure, loss, error do we
discern the savage afflictions that turn us around:

where but in the arrangements love crawls us through,
not a thing left in our self-display

unhumiliated, do we find the sweet seed of
new routes: but we are natural: nature, not

we, gave rise to us: we are not, though, though natural,
divorced from higher, finer configurations:

tissues and holograms of energy circulate in
us and seek and find representations of themselves

outside us, so that we can participate in
celebrations high and know reaches of feeling

and sight and thought that penetrate (really
penetrate) far, far beyond these our wet cells,

right on up past our stories, the planets, moons,
and other bodies locally to the other end of

the pole where matter’s forms diffuse and energy
loses all means to express itself except

as spirit, there, oh, yes, in the abiding where
mind but nothing else abides, the eternal,

until it turns into another pear or sunfish, that
momentary glint in the fisheye having

been there so long, coming and going, it’s
eternity’s glint: it all wraps back round,

into and out of form, palpable and impalpable,
and in one phase, the one of grief and love,

we know the other, where everlastingness comes
to sway, okay and smooth: the heaven we mostly

want, though, is this jet-hoveled hell back,
heaven’s daunting asshole: one must write and

rewrite till one writes it right: if I’m in
touch, she said, then I’ve got an edge: what

the hell kind of talk is that: I can’t believe
I’m merely an old person: whose mother is dead,

whose father is gone and many of whose
friends and associates have wended away to the

ground, which is only heavy wind, or to ashes,
a lighter breeze: but it was all quite frankly

to be expected and not looked forward to: even
old trees, I remember some of them, where they

used to stand: pictures taken by some of them:
and old dogs, specially one imperial black one,

quad dogs with their hierarchies (another archie)
one succeeding another, the barking and romping

sliding away like slides from a projector: what
were they then that are what they are not:

Monday, December 18, 2006

The Mysteries of Bliss VII: The Bud


“Artemis, for example, is to be found in the untamedness of young animals and equally in the terrors of birth. In the classical figure of this goddess, the wildness and the terrors meet at a border-line: they are in equilibrium. The further we penetrate into her prehistory, the more the outlines connected with the name ‘Artemis’ evaporate. The border-line situation widens into a border region midway between motherhood and maidenhood, joie de vivre and lust for murder, fecundity and animality.

“It is a paradox, but nothing is impossible that we meet here: the revelation of something that is dark in comparison with an idea, but ideal in comparison with blind feeling -- the revelation of something still unopened, like a bud. All the most ancient mythological ideas are buds of this sort. Above all, the idea of genesis and origin -- an idea which every living thing experiences in its own genesis and, to that extent, realizes in fact. Mythologically, the idea is embodied in miraculous ‘primal beings,’ either in such a way that in them father and child, prime begetter and prime begotten, are one and the same, or that the fate of the woman becomes the symbol and expression of all givens and origination. Zeus, Apollo, Dionysos, Hermes, Asklepios, Heracles -- all may be regarded as having evolved out of a mythological primordial child, who originally comprised both begetter and begotten. The same idea, seen as the woman’s fate, presented itself to the Greeks in equally budlike form. The budlike quality of it is expressed in the name often given to its personification Kore, which is simply the goddess ‘Maiden.’

“The Kore-goddess throws light on the old mythological idea in its budlike capacity to unfold and yet to contain a whole compact world in itself. The idea can be likened to a nucleus. We have to understand, as it were, the structure hidden in the ‘abyss of the nucleus.’”

-- Carl Kerenyi, “Kore”



Daily I attend the mysteries, initiate and
priest of that sacred door which leads
to her at last, at least here.
The binding of this notebook hinges
pages which turn like doors, each affording
a fresh view of that grand expectant night
(which almost never came to good conclusion),
humid and fragrant and fresh-whisked
by dark storms. My every sense
as I walked out alarumed her awaking
up from the froth and foam, waiting
for me in some rocknroll bar
like a hunted desire haunting me
home. That creaking of limbs in
the southern oak which spread
over my garage apartment: they
groaned with my fathers’ bones
as I walked to my car, turning and
twisting them as they knocked
in metronome the cost of
every stout penetration
to shout immortal sighs.
But I paid scant attention,
whistling “Love is the Drug”
as I revved my Datsun up, backing out
of one bum dream and hitting the gas toward
its other, whose precise location was unknowable,
like the spinning island of the sea-witch.
Its door could only be approached and
entered in boozy flung abandon, my hooded sight
tuned to strange peripheries, compassed
to a border beach of moon-monstrous waves
that waited right or left of sense,
a place no man would dare to visit,
much less run and leap from
like a selkie back in his froth.
There the ninth wave waited for me,
the towering shape of the She
my nuts had hatched, giving birth to her
so she could give birth to my eternal
bliss, there in the lees of a post-
noctal kiss. And here I there live on,
keeping those fires bright even
to the ends of what once was proper poetry’s
petty epiphinals, further to the
ends of this difficult year where
bliss just can’t be found and is
made yet stonily. Yesterday --
taking a next-to-last vacation day --
my wife and I ate breakfast out
then ran errands at Wal- K-Mart and Lowe’s;
then came home midmorning
to enjoy our day together here, me
weeding in the garden and putting flowers in around
the birdbath while in back my wife
spray-painted white some metal chairs.
The day wan and breezy, soothing for its
dearth of heat or cold, rocking us
a tide of year-ending air.
Ten thousand passages through that door
in world and words put clear enough
what’s bordered here where love pays all
to build a home. Here
in the inmost vault where the mysteries
are boxed and tended by my vestal
dreams of true love, the sacred fire
burns clear and steady in work still fuelled
by that old hope, even now, even here.
We believe it with our bodies til
they fumble and fade, dusting the
furniture which remains. Last night my
wife and I set battery-powered candles
in the window of our house,
in gesture to that door which glows
with all our dreams
and is arched by the stars,
comfort for dark winter nights
which I drank to dregs in bars
and pour out now here in lines
which fling love wide and far,
siloed deep in the woman
that door led me to
when I decided to wake
up and come home.